i don't know the first time i started loving you exactly. i've known you for three years. we were friends for one. at our first work christmas party december 2011, you said you loved me when you said goodbye. you thought i didn't hear and you texted me and said "i said i love you, in case you didn't hear." i heard it. i smiled all night, and most probably fell in love.
it's hard loving your best friend. especially when you had a girlfriend, and then a fiance. when you told me you got engaged, i think my face said it all. i acted happy, and wrote you a post-it note saying congratulations, but deep down i wanted to write a post-it note saying "i wish you were mine instead".
now we are stunted. you broke up with your girlfriend, and we slept together casually for about 6 months. we have tried it all, except a relationship. now we are at a point where things may never be the same. knowing that i've potentially lost a best friend makes me very sad. i feel like i've lost everything.
now i can't talk to you like i used to.
i wish i could.
love,
me x
